When Love Won’t Let You Wait

When Love Won’t Let You Wait


When I was younger, I remember listening to the song “Love Makes Things Happen” by Pebbles and Babyface. I would swoon in my room dreaming of how love could hit me anywhere at any time and I was ready for it. Then I saw the music video.

Wait a minute…did he just leave his wife and kids for the lady on the train? Did she then leave him for the man in the café? Yep. Sure did. Yet, the song romantically continued, “Youuu never knooww.” That was my first introduction to a home wrecker and I thought I didn’t need love if it was going to leave me like that!

Home wrecker. Who comes to mind when you hear this word?

Is she the person who lives in your neighborhood? Do you clinch your husband tighter when you see her because of the stories you’ve heard? Are you a home wrecker? Maybe you just know of the rumored home wreckers you read about on celebrity gossip blogs: Alicia Keys, Fantasia Barrino and Gabrielle Union are just a few stars who’ve been accused of starting romantic relationships with married men. Though Alicia and Gabrielle claim that those marriages were over even if it wasn’t yet official, would it have been too difficult to wait until the ink on the divorce papers dried? What if the script is flipped and it is she, the woman, who starts dating while separated and going through a divorce and pregnant like Kim Kardashian?

Some of these women have done everything under the sun to defend themselves when criticized about the timing of their relationships and the complete demise of marriages that followed. Alicia denied breaking up the union between music producer Swizz Beatz and his now ex-wife Mashonda in “JET” magazine. She and Swizz are now married with a son. “Think Like a Man” actress Gabrielle, faced a lawsuit from Dwayne Wade’s ex, but Gabrielle reportedly proved in court that she was not flaunting her affection in front of his children as D.Wade’s ex accused.

In contrast, Fantasia hasn’t offered much of a defense for her ongoing relationship with a married man, with whom she’s had a child. As for Kim, there’s no shame in her game. She’s expecting a child with rapper Kanye West; although, she’s still technically married.

Usually, when you hear of sticky situations like this, women gasp and men grunt noises of disapproval because of their strong personal views of marriage and moral beliefs. Yet lately, more people seem to be tossing aside those views for the sake of love. Is society now more accepting of these relationships?

There is a saying: “don’t open a new door until the old one is shut.”

I think there is validity to that statement. If you meet the love of your life and he or she is still attached, that person is bringing emotional baggage to the table, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. If you need a reason why you should wait and not go forward in this relationship, there are plenty. If this person has children, property, assets, and things of that sort, your involvement can assist the wounded spouse’s case in court.

Also, there are still seven states where you can be sued for Alienation of Affection (being a home wrecker) in divorce proceedings (Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Dakota, and Utah just in case you wanted to know). You could be held accountable as the reason reconciliation between husband and wife did not occur. Oh, and then there’s the emotional instability of the children and trauma of the abandoned spouse, for which you may be held responsible.

If love won’t let you wait, then by all means, move forward with caution and preparation. But, if you can wait, try to do so.

You’re not only protecting the spiritual and legal rights of their marriage, you are protecting your heart and yourself.